Friday, June 11, 2010

feeling better

just went for a long run and i'm feeling thousands of times better than 2 hours ago.

I like that running helps me work shit out in my mind and also my body.

Anyways, I guess I was getting weighed down by a bunch of details when I really just need to focus on my goals.

I HAVE to own some sort of eating/drinking/social establishment within the next 10 years. I HAVE to. My professional life will be a complete failure if I do not do this. I am saying it now, because it's been a dream of mine for a long time and I haven't done much more than talk about it before. I'm not in any huge rush for it to happen, because it has to go well.

The best part is, I know this is a dream of Beth's too, so we will only be motivating each other to actually accomplish this in the future.

Another good part is that since Andy is moving out here, he will undoubtedly want to get on board with us and since he is one of my good friends and one of beth's best friends, it should only aid in the success of such an endeavor.

There are all kinds of things I could say to continue on this subject, but unfortunately I have some more packing to do.

Godspeed friends!

stressed

I'm so incredibly stressed right now I almost don't know what to do.

Here's what is currently on my mind.

Two week Annual Training for the Army.
My classes this semester(in general, not to mention the 4 that I'll be missing over the next two weeks and am still responsible for knowing the material covered.)
Work schedule for the rest of the year.
Vacation to Vermont/Richmond in August and scheduling conflicts that have risen.
PLANNING OUR WEDDING

Those are the major stress factors I am dealing with face to face.

Here are the less life altering, but still significant ones.

Why did our first beer come out so well, but the second one only mediocre and the 3rd borderline sucky?
Why haven't I found time to enjoy summer yet, and fuck not being able to enjoy summer
Why do I always feel stupid even though I did really well last year and I'm still doing pretty well so far this semester.
Is San Diego really the right place for us?
Why the fuck do I let things I can't control stress me out so much?
What could I be doing to make my life more fun and enjoyable?


AHhhhhhhhhh the list goes on. I started to get really vague and list constant worries that most people have throughout their entire lives, so I figured it was time to stop. I don't know why I let things get so out of control in my mind when I feel like I do a pretty good job of keeping my shit together on the outside.

Writing things down definitely helps me though, so I think I'm going to keep wandering around this blog with things.

I have so many things I want to accomplish in my life, and I feel like I'm not doing much at all to get there. I'm really trying hard to do this apprenticeship right so I can know a trade and be useful and marketable. I don't even care if I end up doing electrical work for the rest of my life, I just want to be able to say I'm good at something that not everybody is good at.


aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgh the saga continues.

life is a game
this doesnt matter
etc etc etc
hand me a beer and some pizza

sometimes i miss richmond and knowing a million people and always having stuff to do and not giving a fuck and going to the river and nakslndiuonewjncj2342