Mental

I have a lot that i want to write down. A lot I want to read. A lot that I need to do. I am going to write something on Time Management soon. Hopefully. I also want to write some "Flash Fiction" as Paste magazine described it. I guess theres a growing trend of people writing short stories and posting them as blogs. Sounds creative. I'll give it a shot sometime soon. In the mean time i'll be kicking myself in the butt.

xoxoxo

ps- Joe, Beth, and I had a very extreme conversation on how we could turn ourselves into robots. No more money on tattoos...just hardware upgrades. I'm gonna start with a pacemaker.

little spark(i'm tired and about to go to bed)

Recently, scott has been talking about staying aware of his attitude and focusing on more positive angles than he has in the past. I am really proud of him for trying to better himself and I'm definitely using that as an inspiration to try and better myself. I don't know when I became so stuck up but when i've been having deeper conversations with people recently i find myself thinking that i sound like a know-it-all bastard most of the time. thats not cool. i need an attitude adjustment. i'm trying to wise up, but i think i really just need to sleep right now. i'll try to expand on this more soon....check out scotts blog(i've got it linked..)

Millions of things

are running around the tracks of my mind right now. I made a list of things to do this week to make myself feel accomplished. I'm going to Florida with Zack for maybe a week starting on Friday. We're going to check out Jacksonville, Gainesville, and St. Augustine. I'm very excited for this to happen. I'm already trying to brainstorm ideas for my next little trip. Current possibilities are New Orleans and Coastal Texas. We shall see how things pan out. This summer is getting closer everyday and my levels of anticipation, anxiety, and excitement are sky rocketing. Who know whats going to happen. I hope it gives me a new spin on things though. I'm confident it will though. My friend Matt just moved to Lake Tahoe for basically no reason at all and I'm just as excited for him as I am for myself. Being somewhere and knowing nobody and nowhere is such an exciting adventure in life. I've experienced it a few times on marginal levels, but never in a permanent relocation. I'LL KEEP YOU UP TO DATE.


In other news....
Strangely enough there was a new cadet in my unit this past weekend. He is FROM Kosovo. He lived the first 17 years of his life in Pristina. He was there as a civilian when shit was popping off nonstop. He was there when NATO bombed his city and countryside. Now, 9 years later, he is a working, breathing US citizen and training to become an officer in the United States Army. That blows my mind. 100%. I only WISH he had been on that deployment with us. It would have been incredible in ways I don't even know. oh well. Stories like that remind me that maybe our country still has something decent to offer the rest of the world. I hope he gets a chance to go back soon and see what we(and now inadvertently "he") have done for his home country. I can't wait for him to go back and be a hero because he has essentially "made it".

Things are never as bad as they seem. Whenever I get to bummed on myself I get mad because its usually me being selfish and not waking the fuck up. I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. The world isn't completely fucked yet.

Kosovo

I'm going to be honest, I absolutely plan on going back at some time in my life. Kind of miss it from time to time...

"yeah my girlfriend

takes me home when i'm too drunk to drive, and she doesn't get all jealous when i hang out with the guys. she laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does"

Blink 182 obviously wrote that song just for me.

CRAZY

Back story real quick, theres a lot of weird shit going on in the military right now and lot of Soldiers are being retrained to do different jobs due to unit transformations. Its not a huge deal. "Adapt and overcome". whatever. Whats funny is that since I joined the Army in March 2005 I have been trained to do a total of THREE different jobs; Cannon Crewmember, Aviation Operations Specialist, and Cavalry Scout (In that order). It has recently come to my attention(about 10 minutes ago) That after all the money and time our government has spent on my military education for these other two jobs, I might be going BACK to the gun line behind some of the few remaining cannons we hold on to so dearly here in the VA National Guard. This is killing me. I don't regret a damn thing. I jumped at all my opportunities and took what was up for grabs. In the end, I would love to chill with another howitzer crew on drill weekends. I'm still going to push for a slot in one of the Cav squadrons down in Norfolk, but as long as they get me out of this HHC(read: office bitch) job that I somehow managed to be dropped into last month I'll be happy. It all works out in the end.....

Looking Forward

I'm going to be honest, I have very little to complain about right now. If I wanted to be negative I could rake together a million small annoyances and dwell on those, but instead of getting overwhelmed and upset I'm going to try to Divide and Conquer these petty issues one by one. I can't believe how much of an effect weather has on my attitude. I know it plays a role in all of our emotional patterns, but I have a feeling it plays too big a role in mine. Maybe its just my allergies acting up. Ahhh, whats the use worrying about nothing? The band marches on...