Pandora.com

Scott just directed me to a website called Pandora. Its an interactive online radio that (hopefully) exposes you to different bands relative to your current favorites. When I opened the site it immediately asked me to type in any song/album/band name. I figured I'd give it an easy one and wrote Blink 182. They started off by playing "Give Me One Good Reason" to warm me up(I guess?). That song ended, and my real journey began. The next song was by MakeDamnSure. I can honestly say I've never even heard of this band. It wasn't incredible, more of a Taking Back Sunday rip off, but I enjoyed it. Right now I'm on my third song by Boys Like Girls. Hm, that name is so stupid. This music is kind of cheesy. I'd say Yellowcard meets Simple Plan. I'm kind of into it though. Its not horrible. I'm really interested in leaving this site up for a few hours and just see what I run across. DID I MENTION ITS FREE??!?!

But real quick

ATTENTION WORLD: if you didn't know, "paper work" is my arch enemy. As in, I will do whatever I can and usually just take the hard way out if it means I don't have to waste even a second of my life on this meaningless crap. As much as I enjoy the physical part of the Army, there is enough "paperwork"(MOST OF WHICH JUST GETS LOST AND DOESN'T EVEN MEAN SHIT!) to make me want to be done with it right now. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i'm kind of annoyed and frustrated trying to find a bunch of my shit so that i can just get all my boxes checked and be left alone for another month. i've got some stupid lieutenant up my ass about which family members are coming to this Freedom Saltue. Um, try none. I wouldnt even go if I didn't have to. Why would any of my family members want to waste their Sunday on such a thing? I'd rather just mow the General's lawn, drink a beer, and call it a day. This weekend is going to be fun but its going to be a hassle and a pain in my ass. Wait a second, that reminds me of every drill weekend. I'll probably come back on Monday so pumped about it though because I always get overwhelmed with empty worries. Why do I do that to myself? Maybe because I don't listen to Blink 182 enough. Lets get a burrito. call me

Because my life is awesome

First off, being able to sit down at a bar or be in a restaurant and order a beer is such a convenient and fun thing to do. I fully appreciate it. I took advice from one of my friends and bought a ticket to the Can Can Beer Dinner. Apparently this is a 5 course meal where every serving is masterly complemented with an imported brew. I'm excited.

Another thing I'm excited/nervous about is first drill back.

I'm glad to be getting back in the routine and seeing everybody again but I REALLY don't want to cut my hair and I REALLY don't want to go through all my gear today to make sure that I have it all. I also REALLY don't want to go to this incredibly lame "Freedom Salute" ceremony that we are apparently having. I was on the phone with my Squad Leader (who is bat shit insane) the other day and he confirmed my assumption that it will be 100% gay and a waste of time. Fuck it. It'll be an alright weekend.

My life rules. Too many things up in the air, as usual, but isn't that what life is about? Who knows. I'm so excited for United Blood!!! I need to start working out again.

Doing or not, which is worse?

I've reached a crossroads. I'm not planning on continuing my Horticultural Education. That doesn't sound like much of a crossroads, does it? No, thats because its just a fact. The crossroads is whether or not I should finish up this semester or drop out. I got fucked out of my ORIGINAL first semester of college when I was deployed 2 weeks before Exams. I didn't enjoy it anymore than I do this one, but knowing that you wasted your time, effort, and money is a really crappy feeling. I guess I'm not at that much of a crossroads after all. I know I'm going to finish, but I am just really anxious for it to be May. I'm looking for some direction. College just isn't what my life needs to be about right now. Richmond is too small, how has my Dad lived here for 56 years?

Wow, maybe I'm forming a habit!

After three long months, the hour of my haircut grows near. Heres a little of my his-doo-ry for you ...
I started shaving my head by choice in Summer 2004. When I switched schools to Benedictine in Winter 2004 I was required to keep it buzzed. I enlisted in the Army in Spring 2005, so I never even got to grow it out after High School.

Until now.

Upon returning from Kosovo we were granted 3 months of excused absents from drill. Obviously, I let my hair grow. I still have 3 years left on my contract with the National Guard, so unless I get deployed again you probably won't be seeing this mop top in the near future.

That's about all I can seem to write on the subject. I'll miss it, but I'm stoked to get cleaned up...

Coloring Myself Black and Red

From 12:00 am Thursday morning(okay, more like 9pm Wednesday night) until about 2:00pm Sunday afternoon I was in an almost constant state of Wild Rager. I definitely outdid any 4 day stretch of Summer 2006, if you know what that means.

Why? Because I turned 21 on the 21st and I'm still trying to catch up for missing 2007.

There are a ton of things I could write about from last weekend; monster trucks, everyone's birthday weekend that it was too, legally drinking at bars, being bad, yelling, being kind of mean, being kind of nice, falling over, eating incredible dinners, presents, homework(and how I didn't do any), music, etc, yadda yadda yadda, ...

Pushing all that aside for the time being, I am going to focus on what it means to have your mind blown. I know we talk about it alot, and its not out of the ordinary for me to claim that things like new found glory, 5 guys, qdoba, smoothie king, greg's mosh, and matt clarke blow my mind, but now I know the true meaning of the phrase.

Scott and Virginia flew from Boston to Richmond and surprised me at Helens on my birthday. I didn't even recognize my sister when she snuck up behind me.

Thats all I can write about the situation. Did you think it was going to be a long story or something? I already told you, my mind was blown!!!

i love you all, i love spring time, i am stoked to go back to Drill this weekend(even though I love my hair right now), I love that Dan is researching Uhaul truck prices, I love that spring break is in two weeks and that I'm finally going to Charleston. i love that i don't feel like a drone even though my life is kind of crazy and my future is foggy.

Also... I know its a weird thing to say, and I've never really felt like one day could be that life changing, but now that I'm 21 i DO feel different. I can't argue the fact that I'm a functioning grown up now. I don't plan on acting like one to the extent that I had to last year for another couple years, but I feel like i just opened a big door into a huge room with a million other little doors. I wonder if thats a normal thing to feel...

I was going to post the lyrics to Simple Song by Avail but I feel like thats kind of tacky. I mean, you guys probably all know the words, and its really not as fun to read as it is to listen to.... also i'm not a "jaded" 15 year old girl posting my fav. Simple Plan song. but just for the record

Where am I going with this

Fuck. I'm not in the mood to write this. I'm usually not though, thats why I only have a few entries. But I'm forcing myself tonight. That last blog was stupid. I mean I thought it was funny and somewhat clever at the time and maybe I will again later on, but right now I'm just annoyed with it. This will probably end up being a worse post though. I feel like shit because I ate too much General Tso's Chicken after band practice. I had a pretty fun night doing that though. I almost understand jam bands now. We just smashed around with like every genre of music and it was a blast. It was really nice outside and Brett and I rode and hit a few spots over the afternoon before running into some other BMX kids we know. Theres about 50 things on my mind right now surrounding my birthday and girls and friends and family and future and just about every aspect of life right now. Its all looming over my head like a big piano hanging from a sky scraper. I need a good tree to sit under on a nice day with an apple and maybe a book. Cause I try to live my life in fantasy world, fuck you, say i can't!!!! that was kind of weird. maybe i'll type this whole thing without any backspaces. i will too. i just realized that a comma belonged between "will" and "too" but its too late to change it now!! oh well. I'm in a pretty good mood overall, maybe a little tired and a little overwhelmed, but thats not a bad thing. i'm going to bed though

i can't believe i just wrote that

I mean...I thought it was funny...

This is a little rediculous, but so am I

I hate R&B. I can't stand it musically, but my main problem lies in the culture that I think the lyrics are responsible for. Keep in mind that I have about 2 weeks of actual relationship experience in my life so if you want to tell me I have no clue what I'm talking about then that's fine, but I'd be happier if you told me you laughed while reading this blog.

Now when it comes to girls, I think I have the "strong and masculine yet gently romantic" figure that, according to Power 92, women desire. I don't usually have a problem getting the initial interest of a girl I like, but progressing to the next stage of a relationship is where things always seem to take a nosedive. I couldn't figure out exactly why this was. Reasonably, I assumed that R&B would give me an answer so I started listening to some casually. Time went by and I wasn't getting anything out of these songs. In one final attempt, I really started pondering the lyrics and taking them for more than face value. In my research I discovered that R&B is not at all what it appears to be on the surface. I found out that there are really only Two Reasons that guys write and listen to R&B songs and that they feed off of each other to form a continuous cycle of terrible lies that girls consistently mislabel as "tough love".

The First Reason guys write R&B songs is to provide a set up for male listeners to trick naïve/stupid, kind-of-easy girls into sleeping with them. The listener (or poser, if you will) plays sappy, corny, obnoxious R&B songs to make himself out to seem like he lives above real life human problems and emotions. For some reason this lifestyle seems to be irresistible to females and before long the girl will be tagged and bagged. From here, the suave, attractive, stylish man (typical Poser) begins the process over again with another girl. Sometimes things don't go to plan though, which brings up the Second Reason that R&B songs are written.

The Second Reason that R&B songs are written are as a response to a reaction to something fucked up that the singer has done. Let me break that down for you. Guy cheats on Girl. Girl finds out. Guy regrets cheating (not because he's sorry, but because Girl found out). Girl tries to dump Guy. Guy wants to show Girl that he is actually human after all and proves that he is keen to her emotions by writing a sappy, corny, obnoxious R&B song to show her how much he "cares". From here, the girl will either
A) buy into the story and continue the relationship until she catches the guy cheating again.
OR
B) begin the cycle all over again with a different guy who probably(and less than coincidentally) also listens to/writes R&B songs.
In conclusion, I think any guy who actively listens to R&B is also actively lying, and any girl who dates R&B type guys is actively being lied to. I also REALLY think the music sucks.